To K,

Honestly, I am tired.

Make no mistake... I do not forgive you for all you have done to me and those closest to you.

I do not wish you well.

I do not want to be your "best friend", or even your friend.

I want you to fail - miserably - at everything your life, to include your "business" that just always seems that that BIG money is coming, just wait!!! Yeah, I have been fed that line for at least 6 years. Has that major contract finally come in yet? No? Color me shocked... You also never put it into actual writing what equity I would get in the business, despite all the conversations, assurances and promises that I'm getting it. Pffft.

I do not want you to feel or have genuine love, because you don't deserve it as I (and many) have given it to you only for you to literally shit and piss all over it. And thank you so very much for the HPV... something to remember you by, I guess?

And if I could genuinely warn the world to avoid you like the Plague on anything where trust, money and honesty are involved, particularly women, I would.

Quite frankly, nothing would make me happier in life but to see you suffer for all of your days, to the level you have inflicted on me and countless others, tenfold, as you deserve no less for all of the really fucked up things you have said and done.

It is clear you care for no one but yourself on a genuine level. Your care and concern are superficial, and only to the point where it serves you and your interests. If it does not serve your wallet, stomach, dick or ego, you truly don't care. Your delusions, deception, narcissism and selfishness are par none.

But as I said.... I am tired.

Especially since your general meatheaded-ness, narcissism and defensiveness will not even allow you take accept an iota of responsibility. And your general brokenness - blackness - in your heart and in your soul, just ensures you will continue to hurt others time and time again. Hurt people always hurt people in the end. My words will just bounce off you, as you never really listened any way. And, in your words, you're not changing who you are for any one.

I used to think it was your past law enforcement background that made it really easy for you to compartmentalize your emotions or accept responsibility for anything. But now I know better. You're just a really cruel, fucked up guy wearing the mask/uniform of a "nice" guy.

I've let you consume too much of my headspace, energy, money, time and goodwill. All I have to show for everything I've done for you is pain and loss.

The blame though is completely on me, and shame on me - because the mistake I made was I gave everything, and then some, to a man who never felt the depth of the love I felt. Though you did a very good job pretending that you did care for me for several years. And in the end, you were not even worth it. You did not deserve it my love, loyalty or devotion. You knew all that, and STILL took whatever you could take from me. Never manned up to tell me the truth (I ultimately had to force it out of you after months of mixed signal bullshit - "I need space" but let me still drunk text you at 2 AM with you drunk with your son, because you know, we're still "best friends"), but took all that you could take from me. My money, my (unpaid) labor, my care, my sympathies and my affections - everything. You greedily ate it up like the selfish, horny pig you are and took me for granted. I befriended... idolized... a snake and thought the snake would never, ever bite me. Somehow, I was different - special even. Somehow, you were just "misunderstood" by people, I know the "real" you. Boy, you really fooled me. I was "honey" and "beautiful" and we're working toward a great future together.... Pathetic drivel.

You even had the gaul one time to tell me, drukenly, you loved me even though I "smelled". This was AFTER I had paid for your hotel room for a meeting/trip for your "business" in NYC costing $300/night, gave you $500 of my own money (from a job that I hated and was killing me mentally because your "business" still couldn't hire me full time) for spending money because your ass was broke so you could eat, had sex with me AND paid for your dinner and drinks, and then had to take your drunk ass back to your hotel room THAT I PAID FOR.

And insult to injury, you lent a well dressed, smart talking idiot with a business degree from rhymes with Blanford talk you into lending him > $400K out of your retirement funds (i.e. money you really didn't have to be lending). He did not pay you back for almost 2 years (no shockers there). I had to listen to you complain about it for MONTHS, as he defaulted on payment arrangement after payment arrangement. Sidebar, you actually asked me to review several of these "settlement agreements"; he played you; you knew it AND he admitted it! When he finally paid you back with accrued interest in the tune of > $1M, you paid everone else, you made sure everyone else got paid, but gave me maybe 10% of the money I gave/put out for you after subsidzing several hotel trips, spending cash, and entertainment for your "business". Absent of "relationship gifts", which are ginormous and a seperate matter entirely. I have put out roughly $20K of my money towards your "business" because I believed in you. And like a fucking idiot, I forgave the debt when I knew there was no fucking way you were ever going to pay me back and on the off chance maybe, just maybe, this "business" would pay off and it would be moot. I never hounded you, I never pressured you. I just mistakenly thought you'd do the honorable thing and actually pay me everything back. And to be clear, I wasn't rolling in the fucking dough. I was working as a foot soldier for my respective employers and had REAL bills and rent to pay like everyone else.

I must like shit because I let you treat me like it. Literally, all you gave me was breadcrumbs, and yet somehow I made that a feast. And I turned my back on my values, my self respect and much worse, my marriage. Smh, I am a fucking dolt for ever loving you, much less working for you.

For the record, I never wanted to marry you and you certainly were not the love of my life either. If you couldn't even be faithful to your then wife of 3 decades, and constantly - CONSTANTLY - had affairs and did backhanded shit, then why on earth would you be faithful, in any capacity, to me, your sidepiece? I never asked you for monogamy or exclusivity. I figured you were already dating other women because... like most men, you almost always think with your dick. All I wanted was your care, respect and the truth. I thought I had proven that I deserve at minimum that much from you. And you couldn't even give me that. Honestly, your ex-wife is a saint for putting up with you for as long as she did, and she's probably not even close to the villain you painted her out to be. She probably stopped having sex with you because she knew you would fuck anything that walked with big tits and booty and give her an STI (like me!). Her giving you an anniversary card that said "Cheers" and luggage as a gift was, *chef's kiss*, priceless and appropriate.

And make no mistake... while you did not cause me to attempt suicide (there were actually more depressing things going on in my life than you), you were a significant contributing factor.

You're not a monster or a cartoon villain. But you are not a good leader, a good mate, a good friend or a good person. You are a man that genuinely disrespects and generally devalues women. You are an arrogant, dumb, parasitic, wannabe alpha male who brings nothing of value to the workplace or society. All of your business endeavors have failed; you do not know how to actually execute, for all your "leadership" qualities. You continually outright lie to people, you gaslight people, you manipulate people - hell, you even admitted to me that you have to be careful because you know you can manipulate given your past law enforcement background (honestly, what kind of shithead admits this? Out loud?). You have had to leave multiple jobs due to misuse and misppropriation of funds. Hell, you even went to prison for that once, though you've claimed that you were cleared for that, though I have yet to see the proof of that. I did everything in my power to then get you a job at my then employer, even wrote recommendations and referrals, but no one wanted you after nearly 3 months of actively petitioning, downright begging, on your behalf. They likely smelled the stink and rot on you that I couldn't. You have borrowed money you have yet to repay to subsidize your soon to be mega-successful "business", which, you did not tell your now ex-wife about using all your money & assets to subsidize, which finally led to the final nail in your coffin of your divorce. You have somehow justified having extramarital affairs to others (again, who does that, out loud?)..... I could go on.

And if you think this is not true... seriously, fuck you and shut the fuck up, because it is. I can count on my hands the number of times people that have complained to me about some level of fuckery they've experienced with you first hand. Time and again, over and over. So don't fool yourself there.

The only positive I can say is that you are good dad, and I pray that your kids never truly know the breadth and depth of your fucked-up-ness. They're smart though, so eventually they will figure out the "man" you are.

What absolutely kils me about all of this... you will likely never really feel the consequences of your actions. You'll find someone new, hotter and more attracitve who will give you blowjobs for days, and let you do anal on her, and will love your random dick pics for days, and she'll tell you how AMAZING you are (you're not), and you'll drop her like a bad habit for the next one, because you will find some reason to bail - even though the same reason can likely be said about you. You're that shallow. You'll make lots of money, be famous even, and perhaps never atone for anything you've done - its always everyone else's fault or problem. My career is essentially done, and I will see absolutely nothing from the labor I gave to you. Even if I went public no one would believe me, no one would care and people would shame me. I would always be branded the "crazy ex sidepiece" who was dumb and knew what she was getting into, and is crying foul becuase her feelings got hurt. Like a messed up episode of "Black Mirror" where the villain, and societal sexism, ultimately wins.Or, like Stormy Daniels to Donald Trump. Or, as the Cornell 7, and every similar case before it suggests, it's always the woman's fault. She had it coming and she should suffer for days because she's a "whore". Boys, they're young and just "having fun"; they don't know any better... Right. And I just have to accept it. So, congrats, you've won?

K,

I am choosing myself. I am choosing my own peace.

Goodbye.

S

P.S. No one gives a shit about your college band back in the day.

To the universe and powers that be, higher than me - I have told you my truth. You have heard my cries and my pleas. You have seen my rage and my tears. I have made my intentions known and clear. I release this man, this situation, and all outcomes, to you. I have said my piece.

So mote it be.

PPS: here's hoping that karma is coming for you: Nvidia Board to Probe Spying Case After CEO Admits Affair